Article by Lil Lyon
How do parenting plans, custody arrangements, and custody agreements differ? Parents absolutely control parenting plans. Together, these ex-spouses draft a written document that describes the financial and daily responsibilities of each parent. Parenting plans also detail who makes the decisions and when for the children. Thirty states require plans designed by the parents to be filed right along with the final child custody agreement that is enforced by the courts.
Custody arrangements are workable terms of the custody agreement that include legal or physical custody, joint custody, sole custody, physical joint custody, or legal joint custody. They describe where the children will live, where they will travel, where they will go to school, and medical decisions.
The custody agreement is the actual detailed legal document that is enforceable by the courts. When drafting an arrangement that will become an agreement, it is important to include a clause that allows for change in the agreement. That way as the needs of the children change, so goes the custody arrangement. As the dust of divorce settles, parents often look back and wish they had waited to make major decisions.
The parent with sole custody will obviously make all the decisions for the kids. But when joint custody in the agreement, parents share the decision-making and parenting plans itemize the decisions that will be made by which parent and when.
Plans for parenting break down even the day-to-day details of the main caregiver. The main areas of concern in plans for parenting are schools, medical, finances, and religion. Some issues may need to be renegotiated every couple of years.
Other categories of renegotiation are vacations, child care, communicating with your child when they are on visitation, transportation, birthdays, insurance, relocating, and permissible activities. Tax exemption for the children will also have to be discussed.
Prepare a plan with a win-win strategy in mind. The children will be happier and so will you if everyone agrees that the plan is fair. Kids have a right to love both parents and they are sensitive to any tension between the two most important adults in their lives.
Make it easy on yourself and your kids by focusing on their needs first. Treat your ex with respect as the other parent and nothing more. Operate with reason and compromise. You may not want to live under the same roof with each other anymore, but the other parent is going to be a part of your life at least until the kids are of age. Make it work.
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